"The Power of Love is a curious thing, it might just save your life..." Huey Lewis and the News.
It seems simple enough, but it’s not. Most of my clients struggle in this area, as I have. I would like to say I have completely overcome this challenge. In truth, my self-love is a gauge I check regularly before I interact in the world outside myself.
If I’m not where I want to be, I have tools to use, that increase my Self Love and it makes all the difference in my day and in my life.
Self Love is our personal responsibility. I have come to a place in my life where I take Self Love very seriously. I think it will be worth your while to join me. Remember, life is a journey and not a destination, Leave the perfection elsewhere and find courage to look deeper into yourself without judgement. We all have our stuff. And, we can all bump up our Self Love.
Self Love can be a decision. It's not an evaluation of my emotional state. It's not a measure of how well I am doing. When I have acceptance and love for myself as I am, I am better. I choose to cherish myself, honor my needs, feel my own truth. I decide it's ok for me to be me when I am a rock star and when I feel low. My world does not define me. I do, and God does.
When we are self loving, we practice Radical Acceptance(RA) of ourselves in all areas. Today I will address three: the body, the mind, and the emotions
We all have a body. If you want to practice RA, you have to look at your body. If you go to the mirror naked, you are really ready. If that triggers panic, just look into your eyes at first. Just know that nobody likes to really look at what they do not want to see. You can do it. When you see it and decide to accept it in a kind and loving way, you become free. We decide to love the skin we’re in, no matter the size, shape or age. It is the body you have. You can’t be, do, have or experience anything without it. Decide to love it, just the way it is. Start small. I like my eyelashes. I have good hair. I have good digestion. Let it grow. There are no magic words. I will suggest looking in the mirror daily for 30 days and saying, “I know you. I see you. I accept you. I like you. I love you. Thank you.”
I love doing things for my body. I love hot baths and lotion with essential oils. I like stretching to beautiful music. I like big chairs and big fluffy blankets to cozy up in with my dog Maggie. My body loves it when I pamper it with comfort and when I stretch it and move it. I want my body to take care of me, so I’m choosing to take care of my body.
The Thinking Mind
We all have thoughts. If you want to practice RA, you have to look at your thoughts. I love and accept myself unconditionally with all of my thoughts.
Oh girl, the mind is a minefield. If you allow the mind to run wild, it might not be pretty. Now, we cannot control everything we think about or that voice in our head. We can choose our focus.
Choose thoughts that feel good when you think them. Listen to music or podcasts that remind you of higher level thoughts. Or, tell some basic truths to ground yourself. I am Stacey. I am 52 years old. I live in TX. I enjoy nature. I enjoy laughing. I like music. I am good at my job. I care about others. I am a good mother.
Your thoughts are not facts and neither are your feelings. They are not running you unless you stay on autopilot or get stuck in a story. I am empowered to notice my lower thoughts and redirect them to thoughts that feel better to me.
We all have emotions. If you want to practice RA, you have to look at your emotions. Again, observing without judging. I love and accept myself unconditionally and honor my emotions.
Emotions are the language of your body’s reaction to life. Emotions are experiences felt inside the body. If you are a highly sensitive person, they can be very intense and often uncomfortable. Just like your body knows how to digest your food, it knows how to process your emotions. We want to allow that. The kind loving treatment of our body includes extra nurturing and space if we are experiencing negative emotions.
Having a loving support person to talk to can help. Emotions such as anger that are perceived as more negative are often denied by well meaning people. These emotions require acceptance as well. Then they can be released without judgement.
Self Love will create space for so much healing and happiness. I will practice loving my body. I will focus on self loving thoughts. I will honor my emotions as a natural reaction to my experiences.
I invite you to spend sometime this month with these 3.
I work with clients regularly. This creates so much healing. Increasing your Self Love gives you a SuperPower.
Cheers to you!
Ross Rossenberg has created a term he uses called Self Love Deficient Disorder, the healing of this is called Self Love Abundance. You can check out his book called, The Human Magnet Syndrome, if you want to learn more. This is especially good for sensitive people, but helpful for all.